1. Two proposals are better than one.
In Memphis, the woman on the left got down on one knee to propose to her girlfriend. But the woman on the right reaches into her purse, she too was going to propose.
Individually, they planned to pop the question at the same time.

2.  In Louisiana you can pump your own gas.
Most do, unless there's a swarm of mayflies overtaking the gas station. The driver had second thoughts about filling up. She's got a scene from the Bible right outside her window. The woman drove on to the next station down the road.

3. A televangelist in New Orleans says God told him he needs an airplane.
He's making a public plea for $54 million in donations. It will be Jesse Duplantis' 4th airplane. Thanks to the congregation for the first three.